Snapshot Chronicles

Susan Getgood's personal blog

The evolution of community: BlogHer at 5

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On Saturday, I hosted the second annual Boston pre-BlogHer BBQ at my house. While a few of the guests also came last year, it was largely a new group of women (and their families). Pathetically, I have no pictures even though I had taken out my camera that morning fully intending to shoot some. Hopefully some of the other guests will post some pictures.

It got me thinking about how communities evolve over time. We collectively notice the big changes — a website redesign, a new logo, new editorial policies, but the small things are almost unnoticeable until cumulatively, they become major change. In the five years (since the very beginning)  that I have been part of the BlogHer community, I’ve seen both. And it feels like we are on the cusp of another  significant shift in the BlogHer community.

So walk with me down memory lane as I recall some of the seminal moments — as I experienced them — in BlogHer’s history. Other people’s experiences will vary. You can also check out this post on my professional blog Marketing Roadmaps that recaps all my post BlogHer posts.

July 2005. The first BlogHer. Held in a tech meeting space in Silicon Valley. One day. A real eclectic mix of women (and from the beginning, always a few men. Chris Carfi and Jay Rosen come to mind from that first year). Heavily tech, small business and non-profit. Debates that raged at the conference, and will rage on ad infinitum because there is no one right answer:

  • Are bloggers journalists?
  • What’s the proper role of companies in the blogosphere? If you take money to blog, are you a shill?

Seminal moment: in the closing session, Jenn Satterwhite took the group to task for not giving  mommy bloggers sufficient respect.

Best thing about the conference for me? Meeting women like Yvonne DiVita, Toby Bloomberg, Elisa Camahort Page and Celeste Lindell who have since become good friends.

BlogHer 2006. Held at a miserable little hotel near San Jose airport that completely failed on the WiFi even though BlogHer had warned them.

2006 was the year of the mommy blogger. Largely absent the year before, women writing about family life attended the 2006 conference in force. To the point that BlogHer, a community for women bloggers, still contends with public perception that all women bloggers are mom bloggers. The content of the conference seemed to shift very much to the personal blogger, making it less applicable to a business oriented blogger ( I wrote about this in my follow-up post.) Seminal moments: As already noted, the arrival of the mom blogger. And commerce came to the community with the first big sponsors and the BlogHer advertising network.

BlogHer 2007. Chicago. In between the 2006 and 2007 conferences, BlogHer had made a major shift in its conference programming by  launching the BlogHer Business conference which was held in New York City in spring 2007. The business oriented content — material aimed at companies planning to integrate blogs and social media into their marketing plans — was shifted to the Business conference. Making the summer conference pretty much all about the individual blogger — mom, food, craft, political etc. etc. A real highlight was Elizabeth Edwards, both from the podium and in person.

The seminal moment, though, had to be the explosion of anti-PR sentiment. Bloggers — especially mom bloggers — sick and tired of irrelevant pitches and the lack of respect shown to them by PR agencies and companies. I wish I could say this problem has been solved, but alas, it has not. Content about the best way for brands and bloggers to work together has been part of the BlogHer conference programming, both main conference and Business, ever since.

BlogHer 2008. San Francisco. A bit of a blur really, as I had brought my mom and son with me, and was dividing my time between spending time with them and the conference. The Community Keynote was a highlight, as was celebrating the publication of Sleep Is For the Weak with so many delightful bloggers whose essays appeared in the book.  A real lowlight was the increase of pitching from the floor, a tactic I find almost as annoying as pitching from the podium. Ask a question. Or if you want to make a point, do so quickly. If the organizers had wanted you on the panel, they would have asked you. Folks who were there know exactly which panel irked me the most.

Seminal moment: No single thing, although I recall thinking that BlogHer now had all the  positives and negatives that go along with any professional conference. Pulling everything back into a single venue was a huge improvement over the 07 Chicago conference, which had felt a bit scattered. Sessions and conference materials were as professional as any other conference I’d ever been to. And the increase of private parties and off-the-floor swag suites just as divisive.

BlogHer 2009. Chicago. My experiences in Chicago last summer were highly colored by personal events, including the launch of Blog With Integrity and meeting the acquisitions editor for the For Dummies series at the conference, which resulted in my book. I was also overwhelmed a bit by the size. There were people I know well at the conference that I never connected with. And some thankfully that I got to spend quality time with, so it balanced out.

In 2009, BlogHer held the Business conference the day before the main conference instead of at a different time of year. The sponsor space also was literally a mini trade show (and I expect next month in New York to be the same.) That meant that there were far more marketing and PR reps roaming the halls. And quite a few private events.  The swag was off the charts. Both on the show floor and at the private events.

Seminal moments:  While there were a few blogger relations dust-ups (notably the Nikon off-site party), BlogHer 09 will go down in the books as the “SwagHer” year. Compensation, blogola, swag, free products. All these issues had been swirling around the community for months, and things really came to a head at BlogHer. For the first time, blogger behavior, not advertiser/marketer behavior, was under the microscope.

There were two principal issues: personal sponsorships and swag bags.

Personal sponsorships. Many bloggers attended the conference as representatives of companies. Some personal sponsorships were handled well, but many were not. As a result, things played out very poorly in the public spaces, with bloggers literally thrusting their sponsor’s materials at everyone they met. BlogHer addressed this with guidelines for bloggers attending the 2010 conference as company representatives.

Swag. It’s all good. Until it’s not. There were numerous swag related incidents last year, from the free for all that happened at one of the onsite parties to the reported attempt to blackmail the Crocs representative for a pair of shoes. Now, the reality is that swag isn’t going to go away. It’s part of the conference game. Always has been. And it can bring out the worst in people. Last year at BlogHer, it did.

Hopefully, this year, people will behave better, and those handing it out will do a better job of managing the process. End of the day though, it will all come down to the attendees. It’s a bit like forest fires. As Smokey the Bear says, only you can prevent them.

BlogHer 2010. New York City. A blank slate.

While there will be many private events again this year, BlogHer controlled the on-site space. All the parties at the Hilton are co-sponsored by BlogHer and were open to all registered attendees. Attendees had to sign up for the parties they wanted to attend, but purely for capacity control. Events not connected officially with BlogHer are all off-site. As I understand it, there also are no onsite invitation-only swag suites either. If it’s at the Hilton, it’s part of BlogHer and open to all.

I think this is a good change. While I don’t see the number of unofficial events decreasing, that they have to be offsite means they won’t be as visible to those not invited as they have been in the past. And the sheer size of the conference will offer plenty for folks even if all they attend are the official functions.

As for this shift that I feel we are on the cusp of? I can’t quite put my finger on it yet, but I will be thinking this through over the next few weeks, and hope to be able to put words to the feelings when I get back from the conference in August.


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Today show segment on negativity in the blogosphere

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Last Friday, I was honored to be on the Today Show talking with Ann Curry and Isabel Kallman about negativity in the parenting blogosphere. Jen Singer of Momma Said was featured in the taped segment that introduced the topic.

I personally was very pleased with the balanced story that emerged during the segment. There have been so many negative stories about blogging and social media in the press, particularly about moms who blog. It was about time for a major media outlet to present a more balanced picture, and I am grateful to the Today Show for the opportunity to share my views.

There was so much to say, and so little time. Three and a half minutes is an eternity in broadcast, but not nearly enough. Here is what I would have said given unlimited time and a bully pulpit.

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In any community — whenever and wherever people assemble around common interests — you’ll find the whole gamut of human experience. Love, hate, fights and friendships. Blogging is no different. Neither are moms. We’re human.

On any given day, read the comments on a sports or political blog, and you are bound to find more than a few “disagreements.” And then there’s the gossip sites like Perez Hilton. No shortage of trash talk and flame wars there. Even the comment sections of newspapers like the New York Times and the Detroit Free Press have seen their share of “attacks” in the comments.

And, no doubt about it, there is negativity in the parenting blogosphere. I do not know ANYONE who doesn’t have at least one troll story. However, negativity is not what defines the parenting blogosphere, and we rejected that hypothesis outright during the interview.

As Isabel said, the difference between the parenting community and other communities where passions can run high, is that the parenting community is also one of the most supportive online communities.

There are so many amazing stories of what women are doing online. Creating businesses and new ways to work together. Supporting each other through illness and tragedy. Using their own stories to call attention to social problems.  That’s the community I know.

When we started Blog With Integrity,  we were all about taking responsibility for what you say. We call it owning our words — even if we occasionally have to eat them. Part of owning your words is putting your name right next to your comments.

Anonymity has its place, but not when used as a weapon, the way online bullies so often do.

And even when attacks are not anonymous, the distance and immediacy of digital creates situations that probably would never occur in “real life.” We don’t always see the three-dimensional person who might be hurt. Our feelings are real — theirs, not so much. This is why the Blog With Integrity pledge includes a commitment to attack ideas, not people. It’s okay — even healthy — to disagree. But don’t make it personal.

When it comes down to it, it’s not at all surprising that passions and tempers can run high on blogs. People start blogs because they are passionate about something and want to share it with others.  I’m currently writing a For Dummies book about Professional Blogging, and have interviewed a number of successful bloggers for the book. They write about different things, and have different goals for their blogs, but the one thing that they all have in common is a passion for their topic.

The trick is to not take it personally and don’t make it personal. Because once it’s out there, it’s out there. Not forever, but as close to it as matters for practical purposes.

Do people who start or fan flame wars damage their own reputations? I think so. You can’t control what others say about you, but you can own your response to it. The best response to a troll is to ignore it. Let it fester away under its bridge.

This can be hard to do, especially when your blog is part of your business. The blog or person talking trash about you is damaging your ability to make a living. The temptation is strong to respond. Most of the time, you are better off ignoring it, and focusing your attention on your goals. Play your tune, don’t dance to someone else’s.

In fact, I had to take my own advice this morning when I read a comment on the Today Show site that called me a “phony specialist” for suggesting that it is better to attack the idea, not the person. Ah, the irony.

When shouldn’t you ignore it? Threats to your safety. Maybe libel, but tread carefully. It’s hard to prove and while the case lives so too do the libelous statements.

Women are saddled with some pretty potent stereotypes. June Cleaver, the perfect stay-at-home mom. The catty gossip — think “The Women.”

And my personal favorite: the double standard. Similar behavior from men and women is often described very differently. A strong woman is aggressive, a man, assertive. A man is opinionated. A woman, shrill. A man, driven. A woman, bitchy.

This is one of the reasons I think we see so many reality-TV type stories about women and women bloggers.

Women,  and especially moms, are STILL held to a subconscious societal standard for normative behavior. Stay at home. Don’t rock the boat. Work…but only if you have to. Be nice at all costs. Nurture nurture nurture.

How else to explain the continued discrepancy between male and female wages in this country. Or that Massachusetts could elect a lightweight like Scott Brown largely because voters didn’t “like” Martha Coakley.

When women do step out of the normative behavior — however they do it — society tries to apply old stereotypes to explain it. Women criticize each other online?  Ooh, that means all women bloggers are “mean girls.” Forget about the cesspool of negativity on political blogs. Or some of the infamous tech blogger flare-ups of the past few years. As my friend Elisa Camahort Page recently commented on BlogHer, if you want to see a real (tom) cat fight, just google “Loren Shel Puppet.”

And when that fails, the mainstream media  fosters new, largely negative stereotypes. For example, the entrepreneurial success of many mom bloggers was turned into a negative by the New York Times last month in its article Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy, I’m Too Busy Building My Brand. I can’t imagine someone writing a headline chastising a father for the same thing — finding new ways to support the family while developing a professional reputation or personal brand (whichever term you prefer).

Women don’t turn in our human credentials when we become mothers, and it is well past time to say goodbye to June.

But let’s not perpetuate old myths and replace her with a new monolithic stereotype of mothers, and especially mothers engaged online, as some sort of cross between Joan Crawford, Paris Hilton and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Women are doing amazing things with their blogs. Starting new businesses that never would have existed without the long tail of the Internet. Sharing their experiences, opinions and passions with others across the globe.

And raising families at the same time.

Imagine that.

Hiatus

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Things are getting a bit crazy. A good thing. But it does mean that something’s gotta give, and it looks like it is going to be the personal blog. I’ll try to post something every week, but truly, no promises.

Business is picking up a little bit THANK GOD.  I’ve started writing my book, Professional Blogging for Dummies and am writing for BlogHer’s Family Connections project, both of which impose regular deadlines. Blog with Integrity also consumes a fair amount of my time. Lots more to come on that front in 2010. I may have to move my office to a quieter room.

So if I  am not here, where can you find me? Definitely Marketing Roadmaps and BlogHer every week. Probably on Snapshot Chronicles Roadtrip as I endeavor to finish the chronicle of the Africa trip.

Live and in person? In January, I will be at Mommy Tech  Summit at CES (Las Vegas) and in February, at Blissdom (Nashville) and the ETC travel conference (Providence, RI).

December 4th –if you are local to Boston or Providence and like dogs, hope you can come to Ladies’ Dog Club dog show in Providence. I’ll be there all day!