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Screening, The Kids Grow Up

06.15.2011 by Susan Getgood //

The Kids Grow Up – trailer from Copacetic Pictures on Vimeo.

Tuesday night I attended a screening of the documentary film The Kids Grow Up over at HBO. I don’t go to many events (time and childcare constraints) but this was just around the corner from the office. Plus bloggy friends Catherine Connors (Her Bad Mother) and Doug French (Laid Off Dad) were doing a post screening panel on parenting, so I knew I’d be able to catch up with at least a couple folks, maybe more if  the NY parenting bloggers turned out.

Which they didn’t but that was okay, as I had some neat non-bloggy conversations with people involved in the film (including filmmaker Doug Block) during the cocktail reception before the screening and got a chance to really catch up with Doug and Catherine –or at least as much as you can in a 15 minute conversation.

So, the film. In it, filmmaker Doug Block chronicles his only child Lucy’s path to adulthood, using archival footage shot from her earliest years – probably well before he fully formulated the idea of the documentary – and tons of much more intrusive footage shot of her, his wife and other members of the family once he decided to chronicle the rite of passage of going off to college.

While the movie is nominally about Lucy, it’s really about the journey of four generations of his family, as Block works in archival footage from his own childhood, and a glimpse into his baby step-grandson’s beginning journey.

As I thought about it on the train ride home, I realized that in a way Block’s documentary is the film-length version of a parenting blog. Much as he does with his family story, bloggers chronicle their lives through the lens of parenthood, but their stories are as much (if not more) their stories as they are their children’s. Likewise, The Kids Grow Up is just as much about him letting go as it is about his daughter growing up.

Now, to believe that others will find your story compelling and worthy of their attention requires a strong ego and belief in one’s purpose.  But for readers and viewers to actually care requires talent. I often think that’s what folks misunderstand when they look at the popularity of parenting blogs. Yes, it’s in part the story, and our ability to identify with it, but what distinguishes an excellent parenting blog from a mediocre one is the storytelling. Good storytellers attract an audience, no matter what the medium.

And there is some damn fine storytelling in this film. While at times I felt the film was a little long, I suspect that was largely because I was eagle eye on the clock so I wouldn’t miss my train home. In fact, I was unable to stay for the post screening panel because everything ran just a bit later.

The Kids Grow Up will air multiple times over Father’s Day weekend on HBO and the DVD comes out on June 19th.

 

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Categories // Parent bloggers, TV/Film

Come panic about babies with Finslippy, Fussy and BlogHer in Portland, Seattle and the Bay Area

03.25.2011 by Susan Getgood //

BlogHer is sponsoring the West Coast leg of the book tour for Let’s Panic About Babies by Alice Bradley (“Finslippy“) and Eden Kennedy (“Fussy“). We start in Portland Oregon on April 5th, move up to Seattle on April 6th and then down to the San Francisco Bay area April 8, 9 and 10. Alice and Eden will be doing book signings and readings at independent book stores, and we’ll have no-host blogger meet-ups in nearby pubs and restaurants before and/or after the signings.

The full schedule with times and locations is here.

I’ll be joining these funny ladies in Portland, BlogHer co-founder and president, strategic alliances Jory DesJardins will be with them in Seattle and ceo/co-founder Lisa Stone will be at the Bay Area events.

Let’s Panic About Babies is a humorous look at parenthood. Because, really, if you don’t laugh, you’ll often want to cry, and laugh lines are so much more attractive than worry lines.

Every new parent has doubts about the often uncomfortable and frequently scary adventure that is parenthood. And we screw up left and right.  It’s a good thing that children don’t remember much of what happens before the age of 5. It’s like a free pass on the early mistakes; you know that at least those disasters won’t contribute to your child’s eventual psychological problems. After 5 though — yeah, all your fault.

Unless you are prone to frequent psychotic episodes, these doubts will continue well into your child’s adulthood. Unfortunately most advice books tend to take a preachy tone, which only increases our doubts about our capabilities as parents.

Let’s Panic is the perfect antidote to the “What to expect” genre, and should be in every parent’s toolkit for when they run into the inevitable Sanctimommy (©Mom-101).

Will you love every joke in the book? Maybe not. Like most humor, some things will strike you funnier than others. But overall, if you get this book, you will laugh, cry and probably pee your pants. Just a little.

I’m looking forward to hearing them read from the book, and hope you can join us at one of the stops.

Not able to join us? You can of course buy a copy at your online bookseller of choice (my Amazon affiliate link). Even better, BlogHer is giving away 20 copies. Just leave a comment on the Let’s Panic tour page on BlogHer.com for a chance to win one.

—

Disclosure: I work for BlogHer, was involved in the planning of the tour and received my copy of the book from the publisher.

Cross posted to Marketing Roadmaps.

 

Categories // BlogHer, Books, Funny, Parent bloggers, Travel

Today show segment on negativity in the blogosphere

04.12.2010 by Susan Getgood //

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Last Friday, I was honored to be on the Today Show talking with Ann Curry and Isabel Kallman about negativity in the parenting blogosphere. Jen Singer of Momma Said was featured in the taped segment that introduced the topic.

I personally was very pleased with the balanced story that emerged during the segment. There have been so many negative stories about blogging and social media in the press, particularly about moms who blog. It was about time for a major media outlet to present a more balanced picture, and I am grateful to the Today Show for the opportunity to share my views.

There was so much to say, and so little time. Three and a half minutes is an eternity in broadcast, but not nearly enough. Here is what I would have said given unlimited time and a bully pulpit.

—

In any community — whenever and wherever people assemble around common interests — you’ll find the whole gamut of human experience. Love, hate, fights and friendships. Blogging is no different. Neither are moms. We’re human.

On any given day, read the comments on a sports or political blog, and you are bound to find more than a few “disagreements.” And then there’s the gossip sites like Perez Hilton. No shortage of trash talk and flame wars there. Even the comment sections of newspapers like the New York Times and the Detroit Free Press have seen their share of “attacks” in the comments.

And, no doubt about it, there is negativity in the parenting blogosphere. I do not know ANYONE who doesn’t have at least one troll story. However, negativity is not what defines the parenting blogosphere, and we rejected that hypothesis outright during the interview.

As Isabel said, the difference between the parenting community and other communities where passions can run high, is that the parenting community is also one of the most supportive online communities.

There are so many amazing stories of what women are doing online. Creating businesses and new ways to work together. Supporting each other through illness and tragedy. Using their own stories to call attention to social problems.  That’s the community I know.

When we started Blog With Integrity,  we were all about taking responsibility for what you say. We call it owning our words — even if we occasionally have to eat them. Part of owning your words is putting your name right next to your comments.

Anonymity has its place, but not when used as a weapon, the way online bullies so often do.

And even when attacks are not anonymous, the distance and immediacy of digital creates situations that probably would never occur in “real life.” We don’t always see the three-dimensional person who might be hurt. Our feelings are real — theirs, not so much. This is why the Blog With Integrity pledge includes a commitment to attack ideas, not people. It’s okay — even healthy — to disagree. But don’t make it personal.

When it comes down to it, it’s not at all surprising that passions and tempers can run high on blogs. People start blogs because they are passionate about something and want to share it with others.  I’m currently writing a For Dummies book about Professional Blogging, and have interviewed a number of successful bloggers for the book. They write about different things, and have different goals for their blogs, but the one thing that they all have in common is a passion for their topic.

The trick is to not take it personally and don’t make it personal. Because once it’s out there, it’s out there. Not forever, but as close to it as matters for practical purposes.

Do people who start or fan flame wars damage their own reputations? I think so. You can’t control what others say about you, but you can own your response to it. The best response to a troll is to ignore it. Let it fester away under its bridge.

This can be hard to do, especially when your blog is part of your business. The blog or person talking trash about you is damaging your ability to make a living. The temptation is strong to respond. Most of the time, you are better off ignoring it, and focusing your attention on your goals. Play your tune, don’t dance to someone else’s.

In fact, I had to take my own advice this morning when I read a comment on the Today Show site that called me a “phony specialist” for suggesting that it is better to attack the idea, not the person. Ah, the irony.

When shouldn’t you ignore it? Threats to your safety. Maybe libel, but tread carefully. It’s hard to prove and while the case lives so too do the libelous statements.

Women are saddled with some pretty potent stereotypes. June Cleaver, the perfect stay-at-home mom. The catty gossip — think “The Women.”

And my personal favorite: the double standard. Similar behavior from men and women is often described very differently. A strong woman is aggressive, a man, assertive. A man is opinionated. A woman, shrill. A man, driven. A woman, bitchy.

This is one of the reasons I think we see so many reality-TV type stories about women and women bloggers.

Women,  and especially moms, are STILL held to a subconscious societal standard for normative behavior. Stay at home. Don’t rock the boat. Work…but only if you have to. Be nice at all costs. Nurture nurture nurture.

How else to explain the continued discrepancy between male and female wages in this country. Or that Massachusetts could elect a lightweight like Scott Brown largely because voters didn’t “like” Martha Coakley.

When women do step out of the normative behavior — however they do it — society tries to apply old stereotypes to explain it. Women criticize each other online?  Ooh, that means all women bloggers are “mean girls.” Forget about the cesspool of negativity on political blogs. Or some of the infamous tech blogger flare-ups of the past few years. As my friend Elisa Camahort Page recently commented on BlogHer, if you want to see a real (tom) cat fight, just google “Loren Shel Puppet.”

And when that fails, the mainstream media  fosters new, largely negative stereotypes. For example, the entrepreneurial success of many mom bloggers was turned into a negative by the New York Times last month in its article Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy, I’m Too Busy Building My Brand. I can’t imagine someone writing a headline chastising a father for the same thing — finding new ways to support the family while developing a professional reputation or personal brand (whichever term you prefer).

Women don’t turn in our human credentials when we become mothers, and it is well past time to say goodbye to June.

But let’s not perpetuate old myths and replace her with a new monolithic stereotype of mothers, and especially mothers engaged online, as some sort of cross between Joan Crawford, Paris Hilton and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Women are doing amazing things with their blogs. Starting new businesses that never would have existed without the long tail of the Internet. Sharing their experiences, opinions and passions with others across the globe.

And raising families at the same time.

Imagine that.

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