Woodstock Vermont August 2, 2009
More pictures.
Does mainstream media have mommy issues?
In April, I wrote a post called Has Dooce become the modern day June Cleaver? It got a bit of attention at the time, especially after PunditMom used it to relaunch her Mothers of Intention series.
Please consider this post the sequel.
In the June Cleaver post, I discussed how mainstream media was re-focusing on women in a very traditional role of mother, tripping lightly over our other achievements, and wondered:
Is the mainstream media stuffing women, in general, back in the mommy box because the US power structure relies on women staying in their traditional gender role? To some degree, I think the answer is yes.
Some people agreed. Others did not. Check out the comments on both sites for the true flavor of the conversation. I concluded the post:
Yes, this mom in the media trend makes me very uneasy. Tell me I’m wrong. I want to be wrong. I don’t think I am.
Sadly, very sadly, media coverage of mom bloggers AFTER I wrote the June Cleaver post has largely been evidence that I was on the right track.
Mainstream media has mommy issues.
Consider:
A May BusinessWeek story, Blogola: The FTC Takes On Paid Posts, led with an example from a mom blog, and included two other parent blog examples out of a total of four in the story. The outlier was the well-known Microsoft Vista laptops example. In the same vein, a July New York Times feature, Approval by a Blogger May Please a Sponsor, focused on two mom bloggers, although it did include two other examples.
Newsweek asks: Are Mommy Bloggers Corporate Sellouts?
A Wall Street Journal article about the Mom Dot PR Blackout led with: “How can so-called mommy bloggers navigate the murky territory of sharing advice with other mothers versus getting paid for the products they promote?” and proceeded to make the inaccurate statement that the Federal Trade Commission was considering new rules for parent bloggers.
paidContent’s sincere question: When did Mommybloggers become the devil?
The BNET advertising blog’s sensationalist (and inaccurate) post-BlogHer headline: Mommy Blogger Blackmails Crocs Marketer; FTC Poised to Step In.
Just this week, CBS2 in Chicago ran a two-part series with the provocative title: The Secrets of Mommybloggers, leading with: “If you depend on mommy bloggers to tell you about the best diapers or strollers or baby food, there’s something you might not know about them, and it’s something that has some blog readers very annoyed.”
Even balanced pieces about the FTC guidelines and ethical issues focus on mom bloggers, even though the issues are universal.
Why so much focus on moms? Why does mainstream media have such a mommy issue?
The consumer products companies are targeting mom bloggers, and the media loves to pick on write about the consumer products companies. To some degree, moms are caught in that crossfire.
But that doesn’t explain why food, travel, tech and style/fashion bloggers haven’t been subject to the same media scrutiny. It’s not because they aren’t getting free products or trips. They are. It’s not because they don’t face the same ethical dilemmas, or are somehow more ethical than moms.
To be fair, from time to time, a story from another sector will bubble up to mainstream media. But it’s nothing compared to the inordinate amount of attention paid to the mommy blogger.
The FTC guidelines will apply to all bloggers. Why are they so often characterized as a mommy blogger issue?
During a podcast interview we recently did about Blog with Integrity, Liz Gumbinner said, and I paraphrase, that the media like the image of the poor stupid mommy blogger shilling products for peanuts.
It’s a better story. Why?
Why is it better to create a negative perception of the mom blogger, instead of focusing on the many interesting ways women are using online and social media to make money outside the 9 -to-5 corporate space? Opportunities that would not have existed prior to social media.
There’s an unfortunate element of “oh you silly mom blogger” in many of the major media stories, and it’s generally worse in the comments. It feels just one tiny step away from “oh you silly women.”
Which brings us back to the same issues I raised in the June Cleaver post.
Is all of this just a form of subtle sexism that makes it easier to keep women down on the farm, and out of Paris? Is it somehow easier to marginalize women bloggers if they are generally identified as mothers, even though many are not? Are we perpetuating a society where men run the front office, and women are out back and/or keeping the home fires burning? Sure, we can be corporate execs. Some of us can run companies. Big ones even.
But it often seems that the cultural belief is we achieved success in spite of the fact that we are women and sometimes mothers. Not because of it.
There’s more than a little bit wrong with that.
If mainstream media could get over its mommy issues, would stop dividing women into mutually exclusive stereotypes, I believe that we’d be one step closer to fixing the problem.
We just have to stop letting it.
RIP Champion Blueberry’s In The Nick Of Time
I was going to write a BlogHer post mortem about my personal reactions to the conference. From the highs like my wonderful hair makeover at Sparrow Hair courtesy of Danielle, Susan and Heather, and seeing or meeting for the first time so many marvelous women bloggers and colleagues, to the lows, including my dismay at the rush to judgment of party sponsor Nikon with the ridiculous #Nikonhatesbabies tweetstorm and absolute disgust at some of the swag-grab behavior.
I will still write something over on Marketing Roadmaps from my professional perspective, but today my feelings about the blogging community have absolutely nothing to do with BlogHer and everything to do with the tremendous support people showed over the past two days as I faced the rapidly failing health of my 12.5 year old dog, Nick.
Nick died in his sleep sometime after 2am when my husband last checked on him. I had already made the decision that he was not going to rally and planned to do the right thing for him this morning. God took that decision out of my hands, for which I am grateful. I’ve had to do it before, and it is one of the hardest things we do as pet owners.
I first tweeted about it yesterday morning and then updated everyone this morning with the news. The kind, loving, supportive messages from friends, acquaintances and even people I only “know” virtually through Twitter and Facebook helped me through a very tough 24 hours as I girded myself for the loss of this wonderful dog.
That is what community is all about. It’s why I blog, tweet and attend face to face conferences like BlogHer and New Comm Forum. It’s why we have been working so hard on blogwithintegrity.com
Our online communities matter, and it is worth working hard to protect, preserve and defend what makes them special places. Your place may be very different from my place, but take care of it, and count on it, it will take care of you.
Now let me tell you a little bit about Nick, as the tears stream down my face.
Nick was my very first show dog. In late 1996, I had realized that my first Scottie, Sabrina Fair (who died 1.5 years ago) was a quintessential alpha bitch. When our then old dog, a 10 year old Norwegian Elkhound died, as he would about a year and a half later, if we didn’t have another dog in place — if she was ever an only dog — we would never be able to add another. She’d be too alpha.
So I set out to find a Scottie. By this time, I had learned enough to know that you don’t buy dogs in pet stores. I also knew I wanted another Scottish Terrier.
I was lucky enough to connect with Kathi Brown, one of the country’s top Scottie breeders and eventually convince her to sell me Nick.
He was show quality, and Kathi put the bug in my ear to consider showing him. When he was about a year old, we brought him to a handler for evaluation and she agreed to take me, and Nick, on as a client. I remember crying when I had to let him go stay with her to prep for going out on the show circuit. I’m a little tougher than that now; I don’t weep when I sell puppies or a dog goes off to a handler, even if my eyes do get a little damp.
We then had a completely totally atypical dog showing experience. The handler took him down to a southern circuit, and finished his championship in about two weeks — two show weekends plus one day. Ask anyone in dogs, it is VERY rare to see an animal finish that quickly. For two reasons. First, breeders tend to save really top specimens for breed specialty shows where the competition is tougher but the audience is larger. Second, it’s hard. You have to beat a lot of other dogs to get the championship points.
I knew it was atypical, but still, I was hooked. When Kathi asked me that summer, shortly after the Elkhound died, if I would be willing to co-own a show bitch with her, I said yes, and the rest is history. We eventually bred Nick and Music (Ch. Blueberry’s We Are Not Amused), and in 2001, were blessed with Carly, Ch.Blueberry’s Attitude Dancing, number one Scottie in the country in 2004 and 2005 and three-time national specialty winner.
That’s Nick’s legacy as a show dog.
As a family pet, he was so much more. He had the kindest, sweetest, calmest nature. He adored Sabrina Fair; when she lived, they were nearly inseparable.
Every morning for as long as I can remember, he would walk partway down the drive to get the paper with my husband. He slept under my chair, or behind it, up until the very end, even when the younger dogs tried to edge him out. He loved his cookies.
He loved us.
I am certain that he waited until I got back from BlogHer to finally let go.
RIP dear sweet Nick. Champion Blueberry’s In The Nick Of Time. January 1, 1997 – July 31, 2009
You will always be my little boy.
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