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Regifting

01.29.2009 by Susan Getgood //

It’s a not-so-little secret that most people have regifted at one time or another. Why not? If you receive something that isn’t quite right for you, whether style or fit or utility, and for whatever reason, you can’t return it, there isn’t anything wrong with giving it in turn to someone who would like it or be able to use it.

Within the limits of good taste of course. It’s generally not wise to regift something back to the person who gave it to you or in a situation where the original giver might awkwardly become aware of the regift.

Or to announce at the top of your lungs that it is a regift.

A lesson my son has yet to learn alas. Last fall, we found a craft kit more suitable for younger children in the closet. It was a rainy day emergency gift that my mom had picked up when Douglas was in pre-school. He is far too old for it now, so together we decided to give it to my husband’s four year old grandson T. as one of his Christmas gifts from Douglas. Yes, that would make him Doug’s nephew but he adamantly resists that label and I respect his wishes.

The day after Christmas my step-daughter and her son came over to the house to exchange gifts. When T. got to the afore-mentioned regift, Douglas cheerfully announced to all in the room that the kit was something someone got for him but he was too old for it now so he gave it to T.

It could have been extremely mortifying. Luckily, although my mom was there, I had warned her beforehand and she was fine with it. My step-daughter also had just finished telling us some of her holiday regifting strategies; while I won’t go into details, let’s just say she has embraced the tactic to a far greater and deeper extent than we have.

What do I regift? Not much really, but there are a few things that are almost guaranteed to hit the regift pile.

Red wine. Unless we drink it during your visit, it’s going to go on the wine rack, and next time we have to bring a bottle of wine somewhere, it’s very likely to be regifted. I prefer white or champagne, and Dave isn’t that crazy for wine in the first place. But I’ll put it in a really nice fabric sleeve that the recipient can use next time she brings a bottle of wine to someone. I even won’t be offended if the sleeve ends up coming back to me someday. It’s what’s in the bottle that matters  🙂

Photo albums and some photo frames. These make great dog show trophies and I’m always stockpiling them.

Books we already have or will never read. Luckily most folks that bought my son “On the day you were born” didn’t write an inscription.

During the holidays, boxed chocolates. It comes into the house, it goes out as fast as we possibly can. We still have some chocolates up in Vermont from Christmas 2007 that we will never eat.

Duplicates. More than one of the same toy or knick knack or whatever. The dupe goes in the gift closet.

Regifting rules?

You have to truly believe that the recipient will like the item. Otherwise, you are just passing on your junk. If it’s really that horrible, put it in the basement. It will either break, get lost or your kids will find it and think it’s a treasure.

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The item should be new and unused. Want to give something that you’ve used? By all means, but it’s a wee bit tacky to wrap it up and present it as new. Just give it already. Note: this does not mean you can’t find lovely gifts for family and friends at flea markets and yard sales. I only deplore the practice when it’s your used item and you are implicitly passing it off as new. Not good.

Think long and hard about regifting anything received from your immediate family. Especially your young children. No matter how kitschy. Gifts from your young children are sacrosanct. As they get older, and begin to appreciate the benefits of regifting, the situation changes. Be honest though. Tell them beforehand. Even if they don’t live with you, they might come to visit and notice the absence of whatever it is.

As noted in the outset, keep track of who you received the item from and when. That way you won’t regift it to the original giver or in the presence of the original giver.

What was the most awful gift you’ve ever received? Did you regift it? The above-pictured chicken lamp was actually a dog show trophy we won years ago, and it still makes me shake my head. It had to be a regift. There’s no other explanation for a chicken lamp as a conformation dog show trophy.

The folks at JCPenney, in conjunction with their Doghouse campaign, have given me a $100 gift card to award to one of my readers. All you have to do is tell us about the worst gift you ever gave or received. I’ll even take third-party stories, as in “my friend once…” On a post on your blog or here in the comments, either is fine. Just be sure to leave a comment on this post or on my original post, which has more details about the contest and Penney’s campaign. My brother is the judge. Contest ends midnight EST February 7th. All the usual applies, void where prohibited, etc. etc.

—

A quick follow-up on last week’s post about President Obama. Jonathan Pontell wrote an editorial in yesterday’s USA Today that brought up many of the same points:  Stuck in the middle.

Categories // Douglas Says, Giveaways, Holiday, Politics

A personal reflection on the inauguration of President Obama

01.20.2009 by Susan Getgood //

A day of change. The first African-American president. A Democratic administration in the White House.

There will be commentary left right and center on today’s events and the president’s speech.  I’m going to leave them to it, and share a personal reflection on this inauguration that has only a little to do with race or our economy or the mess in which George Bush has left this country.

I’m thrilled that George W. Bush is now a private citizen in Crawford Texas and I wish him and Mr. Cheney well in their retirement endeavors. Seriously. Finally. About time.

I share the hope of our nation, dare I say the world, that our new president will approach our problems with purpose and responsibility. Instead of looking for someone (else) to blame.

I revel in the joy of all our citizens – African-American, Caucasian, Native American, Hispanic, Asian-American, Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Jew, agnostic, atheist, pagan, everyone – that we elected an African-American to the presidency of this still-great nation and celebrated his inauguration the day after our national holiday in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.

But Barack Obama as president has meaning to those of us born in the early 60s in a special way. He is the first president who is our age. Who shares many of our life experiences.

I remember when I passed 35, it occured to me that now I was old enough to be president. And now someone who’s my age *is* president.

When the presidential campaigns started more than two years ago, I had hoped to identify with the incoming president due to gender. Instead, I find I am doing so because of generation.

We are an interesting bunch, the children of the early 60s. Some statisticians put us with the Baby Boomers, but we really don’t fit there. We’re too young.

Others put us with Generation X. But that isn’t right either. We’re really too old.

We’re a sandwich group. We grew up during Watergate and the final years of Vietnam, events as polarizing as World War II was to our grandparents. We came of age during the Iran hostage crisis. Our 30s saw the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War. In our maturity, the twin towers fell.

Some of us have children entering college. Others, like me and the Obamas, are still dealing with the trials and tribulations of young children. My son is eight; their daughters, seven and 10.

Many of us shared the experience of parental divorce. We were the Kramer vs. Kramer generation — the first to experience divorce as commonplace among our parents instead of something rare and “Hollywood.”

So, as I watch these inaugural events, while I think about everything that Barack Obama represents, I keep coming back to the fact that he is my age.

My generation is finally in power. This is our chance to change the world.

Let’s not waste it.

What will you do?

Categories // Politics

Why I hope the Obamas get a purebred dog

11.25.2008 by Susan Getgood //

The day after the election, before the real political transition was really underway, among the top news was the  Obama family’s future pet. Speculation, opinions and advice from all corners — the American Kennel Club, the Humane Society of the US, pet owners, dog breeders and fanciers, newspaper columnists and bloggers.

Everyone wanted to know: what sort of dog would the Obama family bring to the White House? A purebred puppy? A shelter dog? Or perhaps a rescue? One of the daughters has an allergy, so that needed to be taken under consideration.

I hope they get a purebred, and here’s why.

Purebred dogs are the most predictable choice. This is very important for families with children. The more we know about the dog’s general behavior, the easier it is to pick one that fits our lifestyle.

Each dog breed was developed to do specific work. Herding dogs like shepherds and collies herd. Anything they can. Hounds and sporting breeds are hunting dogs. Some track, some retrieve. Terriers are largely earth dogs. Their job is to get the vermin out of the hole for the farmer. And so on.

As a result, we know with some certainty what their behavior and exercise requirements will be. We know how big they’ll get. We know about diseases that affect the breed because responsible breeders contribute to the growing body of knowledge about canine health through dog clubs, health trusts and central bodies like OFA and CHIC. If you are interested, here’s the OFA record of Ch. Blueberry’s Attitude Dancing HOF ROMX  (Carly), featured here earlier this fall.

The allergy issue. No dog is completely hypoallergenic. That said, some breeds are far less likely to cause reactions. What type of coat does the dog have? Does the dog shed? Poodles, many terriers, Samoyeds. These are all breeds that allergic people can live with. I know. I am allergic to dogs and live with four Scottish Terriers. The best test? Visit the breeder of your chosen breed and spend an afternoon or more with the dogs. And don’t let the dog sleep in your bed. Please. Not good for you, not good for the dog.

I do not think so-called designer breeds like goldendoodles and labradoodles are a good choice. For one thing, genetically, you don’t know what you are getting. Each puppy gets half of its genetic material from one parent, and half from the other.  Umm. Which half? Some of these mixed breed dogs look like one parent, others like the other. In a single litter. Hypoallergenic? No more so than the pure breeds with the right coat qualities. Even if you get the most lovely puppy, there is no way you can reproduce it with genetic predictability.

A popular myth is that mixed breeds, whether deliberate or accidental, are less susceptible to diseases. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, they are just as likely to inherit the susceptibility to genetic diseases from all breeds in the mix. If you decide to adopt a mixed breed, it is important to educate yourself on the issues of both, or all, breeds represented in your dog because you just don’t know what might manifest.

A mixed breed or shelter dog may be a good choice for some people, but please, please, educate yourself on the breeds that make up your dog. Know how big she’ll get. Understand the behavior implications. So many animals end up in shelters and rescue because people didn’t understand that the cute puppy from the shelter or pet store would become a dog.

A responsible breeder will make sure that you know what you are getting, and quite frankly, if she has any doubts about YOU, you won’t be getting one of her puppies. We’ve spent years building our lines, creating the best possible dogs we can. We want to be sure you will take as good care of your dog as we do of ours.

DO NOT BUY A PUPPY AT A PET STORE.  Commercial breeders who sell to pet stores do not have the same standards as responsible hobby breeders. Full stop. Do not confuse the two. Breeders, like me, who show their dogs to their championships, have one or two litters per year. At most. Our goal is to continually improve our breed.  And we vet YOU just as carefully as you select US.

Dog overpopulation is an issue in some parts of the US but not everywhere. In many states, like Massachusetts, shelters have to import dogs from the south and Puerto Rico to meet demand. I find this so bizarre. Why not buy a locally-bred purebred, where you can visit the home, see the dam, and have a bit more predictability about your pet and its behavior?

For the Obamas, with young children with allergies, the best family solution is a purebred.

But that may not be the political choice. And here’s my plea to president-elect Obama. Choose what’s best for the family and the dog. Screw politics. Please.

Dog. Family. Important.

Politics. In this? Not so much.

HSUS wants you to adopt a shelter dog. They are PUSHING for you to adopt a shelter dog. If you could find the right shelter dog, great. But the chances for success for a family with young children are much better with a purebred puppy that can bond with your family from an early age AND has predictable behavior characteristics.

I know you are enamored with the doodles. Understand that it is a genetic crap shoot. Not necessarily hypoallergenic. Definitely not a pure breed.

Please add the right dog to your family. One that fits. So many of your decisions as President will be political. Give your kids, your family, and the dog the best chance for success. Do NOT let politics make this important decision for you.

How about the rest of us? What should we do? The same principles apply, and I would also ask you to think carefully about the animal charities you support. Make sure that the charity actually cares about animal welfare, and is more than just a lobbying group. Does it contribute to the actual WELFARE of animals? Is it trying to improve the health of our dogs and cats? Does it really care about you as a pet owner or are you just the financial means to an end?

Just ask.

Finally, the other post-election dog news was from a dog already living in the White House. In defense of Barney, and not just because the Scottish Terrier is my breed, I just want to go on record that I would have bit the reporter too. What a dope, waving papers near the dog’s face and coming down on his head like that.

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