Well, 2013, so far you are a mixed bag.
There have been some good moments.
Douglas and I had a great weekend trip into NYC in January. We saw Blue Man Group, ate at a terrific restaurant in the East Village (The Smith) and went to the Harry Potter exhibit at Discovery Times Square.
Not sure if they do this at other venues, but if you’ve ever been to a Blue Man show in NY, you may recall the audience warm-up bit at the beginning where a few audience member names are featured on an LCD display. Starts out as though they are calling attention to celebrities in the audience and asking the rest to congratulate or thank the celebrity. When we went, the first two were purportedly an Olympic Curling champion and a scientist with the human genome project.
The last one? Well, that was Douglas! Digging around the FAQ on the Blue Man website for the show running time to plan our dinner reservation, I had seen the notation about submitting a name for the LCD. There was no guarantee they would use Doug’s name but the chances seemed good, as I set up the situation for them; a 12 year boy attending with his mom seemed tailor-made for some laughs.
It met all my expectations. As the LCD crawled with his name, it noted (and I paraphrase because you can’t take pictures): Douglas is a person with no particular skills or talents, so he really needs our love. Tell Douglas “we love you.” At which point the whole audience yells “We love you Douglas.” He was naturally mortified that I would do this to him, making it all the sweeter, but deep down, even though he’ll never admit it, I think he also was secretly a little pleased. Every so often it’s nice to be the special one.
The other personal highlight of the year to date? Douglas won the school science fair. First place for 6th & 7th grade and First overall. His project, entitled “Produce Power” explored which fruits and vegetables would make the best “battery” for a digital clock. Here’s the mad scientist presenting his project at the fair last week:
And, while not quite a highlight, we finally resolved the divorce. There is still a lot of financial mess to deal with, especially regarding the real estate, but the divorce was granted February 13th and will be final in mid-May. Ironic, that my first full day as a formerly-married person was Valentine’s Day.
I won’t write much more about the divorce here or elsewhere, but of late I have been reflecting on life and relationships quite a bit. It’s not quite ironic, but there is something “funny sad” about the trajectory that so many of us late Boomers/early GenXers seem to be on, if my Facebook feed is any indication.
We spent our early adulthood building our careers, in no tremendous hurry to “settle down.” In fact, until my mid-30s, I never really thought I would get married.
And then we did enter into a long-term domestic partnership (including marriage and children). We thought we were “safe” because we had waited. We didn’t make youthful mistakes in our partner choice. We were older, established. We wouldn’t outgrow each other.
Except no. That’s not what happened. There are no guarantees in life. So now in the back third of my adult life, I am experiencing my third marital status – divorced. I’m not sad or happy. Just relieved to be moving on.
And now the extra helping of awful. We learned this week that my dear darling Reva, Ch. Blueberry’s Best Served Cold, has cancer and there isn’t really anything we can do about it. There are three different tumors, so even if we could deal with the worst one without going bankrupt, one of the others would get her sooner rather than later.
We are devastated. She is only 8-1/2 years old, and I thought I had years left with her. Right now, she is pretty chipper and her normal self, so we are taking each day one day at a time. But things could go quickly. We just don’t know.
This, this alone, moves 2013 into the column of officially sucking. Because no matter what good things happen, and I am hopeful some will, nothing will make up for losing her.
That’s all I am going to write about this here until she does pass. Because it devastates me just to type the words, and I need to stop crying.
I’m sure by this point you do too (and thanks for sticking with this post) so please enjoy this video from a few years ago of Reva and her son Cash playing with “Clocky.” Reva is the larger blacker dog; Cash was just a puppy. And remember every day is a gift.
